So, you’re getting married and you’re on cloud nine … enjoy the moment my friend, but not for too long. For the groom, wedding planning responsibilities are many and important. There are joint and traditional duties that the groom must manage in order for your special day to go smoothly.
Joint Duties
- Set a budget. And stick to it. Prioritize certain elements of the wedding to make it work. (Remember to designate a portion for vendor tips!)
- Help with the guest list. Work with your fiancée and keep track of your side of the family. Track down missing RSVPs – don’t leave it all for your intended. (Do not hand out verbal invitations – stick to the list.)
- Meet with wedding vendors. Don’t skip out on appointments – the selection process is extremely important. Be there and voice your opinions. (Never say, “I don’t care.” If you care about your betrothed, you DO care. Prove it.)
- Don’t neglect the gift registry. What things do you, as a couple, need to start your married life? What would you want to receive? Your input is important. (Choose some fun stuff and see what shakes out.)
- Plan the honeymoon. The honeymoon should be a celebration of your union. Come together and create something special. (Just because you plan it together doesn’t mean you can’t include a surprise excursion for your beloved, on the sly.)
Groom Duties
- Plan the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom’s parents. Use the occasion to spend more time with close family and friends; the time you have with them on your wedding day will be fleeting.
- Oversee your wedding party. Choose the best man, groomsmen, and ushers. Choose their attire and follow up with your party to be sure that they are dressing and being fitted appropriately. Never leave it “up to them.” After all, it’s not their day, it’s yours. On the day before and the day of, make sure to have “the talk” with them and politely ask that they be on their best behavior.
- Choose gifts for your attendants. This is a way to thank them for their participation and support through the days leading up to your wedding. You know them best – what would be the perfect gift? (While you’re at it, don’t forget to choose a wonderful gift for your bride and start your special day with a small token of affection.)
- Family Management. Make sure to oversee all of the characters on your side of the family. Politely step in if your mother or Aunt Hester won’t give the bride “room to breathe.” (Remember that your family is as excited as you are.)
- Write your vows. Never “wing it.” Winging it is always, always awkward. Write down what you want to say well before the wedding. If you plan to memorize your vows, keep a printed copy in your pocket for backup. (You’ll be standing in front of family and guests on a very important occasion.)
- Don’t over-imbibe. Nothing ruins a wedding faster than a drunken groom. Losing control would be extremely selfish and an insult to the day that you and your bride have planned for months. (Exercise control on the night before, as well – nobody wants to go through the day with a hangover.)
Weddings are special and planning for them should be treated as such. The more you’re involved, the more memorable it will be and the stronger your union. Put in the work and enjoy your day.
You’re getting married! Congratulations!
Now, get to work.
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