“Folks are usually about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” Abraham Lincoln once said. The first time I saw that quote, I was confused. It implies that happiness is a choice.
“If happiness was a choice, wouldn’t everyone be happy all the time?” I reasoned. I was determined to find a quote from a different great mind to counter Honest Abe’s illogical musing. Instead, I found there are a lot of highly intelligent, even famously wise people who seem to agree with Mr. Lincoln.
“Happiness is an inside job,” quipped motivational author William Arthur Ward.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions,” said Dalai Lama XIV.
It really bothered me to think that the countless hours in my lifetime I spent being miserable were really unnecessary. All I had to do was choose happiness.
If you are skeptical, I get it. What about all the sad, irritating, unfair things that happen in a person’s lifetime? Are we supposed to pretend these things don’t happen? What does this self-imposed happiness look like?
I can tell you, it is not about walking around with a constant, crazed smile, like some hysterical cult member. You don’t have to smile, you don’t have to do anything, other than find out what brings you joy and go out of your way to find more of it.
Happiness is about surrounding yourself with other people who seek happiness, people who make your world a better place, just by existing. It is taking the time to participate in your favorite hobbies, having a scoop of your favorite ice cream, or rubbing your dog’s belly until he uncontrollably kicks one of his legs.
To be truly happy, I had to learn to let go of the things that make me angry or miserable. That may sound like a no-brainer, but it was not that simple. I discovered that I truly enjoyed some of my anger and bewilderment. I must have, because I spent an awful lot of time thinking and talking about the negatives – far more time than I dedicated to seeking positives.
If it sounds like I woke up one day, flipped a switch and found myself basking in the glow of joy, I can tell you, that is not how it all went down. I had to take a good, hard look at my life and the things that made me angry and sad. I could not just make painful memories disappear, but I could try to understand the other people involved a little better. I could allow myself to accept that some of the circumstances I had endured were simply part of life – catalysts for growth.
Today, when I wake up, I make a conscious choice to be happy – just for today, because tomorrow is not promised. When I allow myself to feel joy from the small things in life, something amazing happens: I share that happiness with others. Anne Frank said, “Whoever is happy will make others happy.” I believe happiness is contagious.
Sure, I get down. I get angry sometimes, too. When those times come, I remind myself I have a choice – live in the pain or be happy. The choice is not always easy, but it is simple.
