Every January first at midnight, there are certain things you can count on if you’re in a bar or other large, public gathering.

This time of year, there is a little less room in the old mailbox. Greeting cards. I would say “Christmas” cards, but that seems to upset people. Then again, saying “holiday” cards is just as likely to send plenty of people into a tailspin. For the record, I’m not trying to fire up that un-winnable debate.

I suppose I could wait until December to write a holiday-themed column, but why?

Are you searching for something … you know, like a dead AA battery, a remote control that doesn’t actually work with anything, or maybe a half-used roll of Scotch tape?

Labor Day. The first day of fall. “Talk Like a Pirate Day.”

This month, two important construction projects will happen in Flint. When these projects are finished, two neighborhood parks, Hasselbring and Broome, will each have brand new playgrounds.

“What is your advice for new graduates?” asked a reporter friend who was writing a recent newspaper article.

We are in the middle of a father shortage. Well, maybe I should re-phrase that. There are plenty of dads. Dads are everywhere. Unfortunately, one in three kids does not live with his/her biological father. This adds up to roughly 24-million kids who do not truly know, or have never met their fathers.

Once again, I am inspired by one of the great minds of my generation. I had to know if a picture indeed lasts longer than a lingering stare.

Whose brilliant idea was this whole Spring Cleaning thing, anyway? If you tell me to “Google” it, I’ll wash your mouth out with soap. Okay, I Googled. Spring Cleaning is a ritual created by people who spent winters in torment, isolated in their homes. When it finally got warm outside, swarms of dust mites descended on the villages and hamlets, strewn across the country side.

“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me now! It is fun to have fun, but you have to know how.”

February is a month for hearts, flowers, and of course … groundhogs. Yes, you can be certain that everywhere you go until around the 15th of this month, the world will be awash with heart-shaped everything, and a whole lot of red and pink. Count on it.