First, I should clarify that I am not a movie buff, so if you are, please don’t call me up to tell me how much I don’t know. My favorite movies star Belle, Cinderella, and Rapunzel. In fact, I only know that the Academy Awards are in February because Ed Bradley says so in his column. But here’s my opinion as a non-movie buff. I find most movies nowadays to be unnecessarily long; I think somewhere along the way directors fell prey to the idea that longer equals better. In docu-drama type films, it always feels to me like the film is peppered with a bunch of random, pseudo-artsy scenes that have no bearing on the plot, and in action movies, the same long, disorienting (fake) fight scenes seem to take place over and over.
Have I alienated everyone reading this? Maybe you’ve already turned the page. But I do have a point here. It’s this: for all you people out there who watch movies like it’s your job, stop telling me what a “good” movie is and what a “bad” movie is. In the end, it’s really just your opinion, which is based on your personal taste. It’s my privilege to dislike The Hobbit movies, and it’s also my privilege to think that Will Ferrell’s best movie was Stranger Than Fiction, wherein he doesn’t play his usual annoying character.
Having completed my rant, I recognize that it would be hypocritical of me to voice my opinion as if it were gospel … so I should probably refrain from saying that anyone who likes The Hobbit is an idiot who obviously never read the books and doesn’t care that the director has managed to eke a trilogy out of one book, whereas The Lord of the Rings was a trilogy made out of a trilogy. There, I said it. I’ll be on the lookout for your hate mail. Happy Valentine’s Day! ♦